Why does my husband ridicule me now that I’ve got my own job?

Dear Coleen

I’ve been a stay-at-home mum for the last 10 years, but for the last few I’ve been feeling very unfulfilled and have tried to get back to work.

My husband hasn’t made it easy for me and has made me feel guilty every step of the way by saying I should be there for our children.

I’ve now found myself a part-time job which I love, but my husband keeps accusing me of fancying the guys I work with (I don’t) and making snide comments to the kids about how I don’t need them now I’ve got my new job.

I just wish he’d be happy for me. Why is he acting like this?

Coleen says

Uh-oh. I’m sorry but your husband sounds like a controlling and massively insecure man. It’s his own insecurities making him act like this, but I wouldn’t let him win.

You are there for your kids, and you have been there for your kids fully for the last 10 years. Many mums return to work much sooner, whereas you had a decade of focusing solely on your kids and now, understandably, you want to get a little bit of yourself back.

Your husband needs to get used to this. He’s being totally unsupportive and I just wouldn’t put up with it. Some men can be really funny about their wives working. He’s probably been thinking, great, she’s at home with the kids doing all the work and childcare, and definitely not up to anything. But that’s controlling and selfish of him.

Now you’ve got a little bit of ­independence and a life away from the home, he doesn’t like it.

But you need to stand firm. What men like this don’t realise is that when they constantly hassle their innocent wives about cheating, it can be ­counterproductive and they do end up going off with somebody. Good luck.

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