From getting it on with an A-Lister to action with an ex, sleep gurus decode the most common desires. Plus how they could lead to electric sex in real life.
You’re in the middle of the most thigh-quivering sex ever, and your partner is surprising you with moves he’s never tried before. But that’s because he’s Channing Tatum. And you’re dreaming. Turns out, it’s completely normal to have erotic encounters with randoms as you snooze. And analysing who you’re getting it on with could provide you with insight that improves your wellbeing. Bonus of all that unfiltered action? Ideal inspo for your real sex life.
WITH YOUR PARTNER
WHAT IT MEANS
If your sleepy-time romps feature the man you sleep next to, it’s usually an indicator that your relationship is strong. It can also be a sign that you’re becoming more aware of some quality in your partner. For example, if you dream that your bloke is being very dominant (and taking you on a desk in a suit), it suggests that having your man in a position of power – making strong, confident decisions – turns you on, explains Ian Wallace, dream psychologist and author of The Complete A to Z Dictionary of Dreams: Be Your Own Dream Expert. But if you’re having issues (especially sexual ones), these may pop up in your dreams too, says Angel Morgan, a sleep and dream expert. As in, you wake up just as the sex is heating up, indicating that you may be holding back from fully expressing yourself in bed.
FROM DREAM TO REALITY
Divulge the details of your dream to your partner in a kind of verbal foreplay. It can make the next time you get between the sheets more erotic (and potentially fix problems you’ve been having). “Tell him you had a wild dream about him as you kiss him goodbye, then text him a reminder during the day,” says Dr Jessica O’Reilly, sexologist and author of The New Sex Bible. Feel free to embellish. “This is the perfect opportunity to bring up things you’d like to try,” says Emily Morse, host of the Sex with Emily podcast. Mention that he used a vibrator on you and plant the idea for later.
WITH A CELEBRITY
WHAT IT MEANS
On the surface, it could just be that you’re totally into a Hemsworth – nothing odd about that. More often though, it can symbolise a craving for attention, either socially or from your partner, says Morgan. It could also be a positive side effect from engaging in more me-time. Why wouldn’t Liam want to sex you up when you feel as great as you do these days?
FROM DREAM TO REALITY
Channel the excitement that comes with having a sexy star in your bed into role-playing fun. “It can be the antidote to boredom in the bedroom,” says O’Reilly. But rather than resort to mainstream ideas, engage in your real fantasies, like you’re the burlesque dancer he just watched on stage, or you’re Jane to his Tarzan, says O’Reilly. Just make sure to establish a safe word first.
WITH AN EX
WHAT IT MEANS
It doesn’t necessarily indicate you miss him or wish your current partner was more like him. This dream is about you. “It usually means your ex has a trait or quality that you’re challenged to own in yourself,” says Wallace. For instance, if you dream that you got it on at the airport (which can represent a desire to get a plan off the ground), then your ex’s presence may signal you’d like to inherit his go-getter attitude.
FROM DREAM TO REALITY
Let’s be real: regardless of what the dream means, this re-emergence of your ex probably brought back some fond memories of his sexual skills. So take advantage. DO NOT mention your steamy dream to your current partner. Instead, show him which moves you liked, suggests O’Reilly. Loved how creative your ex was during oral? Loan your guy one of your toys and let him work magic with tongue and vibrator. Add some hand play by guiding him exactly where you want him.
WITH A FEMALE FRIEND
WHAT IT MEANS
If you’re straight, you really don’t need to start questioning your sexuality. Hooking up with another woman likely represents a feminine side of yourself (like your caring or nurturing abilities) that you’re coming to terms with. “Say a high-flying executive dreams she’s having sex with a woman. It could mean that she needs to tune in and be more sensitive to the people she works with,” says Morgan. It could also signal that you’re looking for more of an emotional connection in your sex and love life.
FROM DREAM TO REALITY
Work on making sex more of a prolonged and sensual experience. “Slow everything down and don’t rush,” says Morse. “Explain, for example, that you’d like him to slowly undress you.” And don’t forget eye contact. “Staring into each other’s eyes can make you feel more connected.”
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