Remember when you felt sexually advanced if you’d reached second base?
Well, it’s time to bring his hands back into the bedroom.
“Hands can add so much creativity to sensuality,” says Marianne Brandon, Ph.D., author of Reclaiming Desire: 4 Keys to Finding Your Lost Libido. “Women really like to be teased and hands are an important part of that intensity building.”
In other words, his digits are capable of sexual stimulation that his penis isn’t—he just has to know how to turn them into your own personal sex toys.
Ready to bring all hands on deck? Try these seven moves to your desire, stat.
Have him pretend he’s an artist, drawing every edge and crease of your body with his finger.
“This gets you focusing on sensation,” says Brandon.
Ask him to trace the border of your lips, your inner thighs, and your breasts—with a soft, barely-there touch.
“It’s not tickling,” says Brandon. “His fingers maintain contact with your skin, but very lightly.”
Save your nipples and clitoris for last, and even then, approach those hot spots slowly.
Have him to outline your clitoris wihtout touching it directly for a while, Brandon says. “That will intensify the experience.”
Adds Monica Lieser, a licensed marital therapist and author of 14 Days of Foreplay: “When he touches those body parts right out of the gate, it’s actually uncomfortable. There’s no anticipation. And anticipation is where desire is.”
SPREADING YOUR LIPS
During oral sex, his tongue plays a starring role, but his hands deserve a little stage time, too.
“Spreading a woman’s with your fingers makes her feel more exposed,” says Brandon. “For most women, that level of vulnerability heightens the excitement.”
Another way he can occupy his hands during oral: is to grab your hand and give it a quick squeeze. “That’s a lovely way to stay romantically connected,” says Brandon.
GUIDING HIS HAND
News flash: His go-to strokes and preferred intensity probably won’t work when pleasuring you.
“When men masturbate, their touch is fairly rough,” says Lisa Thomas, a certified sex therapist and founder of OnlineCouch.com. “If they use that much pressure on us, it hurts.”
That means watching your solo sessions can be key to learning the types of touch that turn you on.
“I train my couples to use the ‘handwriting technique,’ where she takes his hand and shows him how to touch her in the way that feels best,” Thomas says.
HOLDING YOUR FACE WHILE KISSING
Kissing isn’t all about tongue—it’s also about touch.
Holding your face while you lock lips shows that he’s fully engaged, says Thomas. This is especially true if you haven’t slept together yet, he says.
RELATED: 12 New Sex Positions Every Woman Should Try This Year
STIMULATING YOU DURING SEX.
We’ve all heard this depressing stat: Only about a quarter of women consistently climax from intercourse alone. So why not get his hands in on the action?
In a recent Australian study, 71 percent of women who had an orgasm during their last encounter said they combined manual stimulation and intercourse.
Your natural sex position for getting off: spooning.
That’s because he has easy access to your genitals from the front, says Thomas. Plus, in this position, he’s less focused on thrusting—your bodies are super close, so the amount of work is minimal—making it easier to establish a rhythm when stimulating your goods.
PLAYING WITH YOUR HAIR DURING ORAL.
When you’re going down on him, ask him to play with your hair.
“When we have our hair brushed or touched, it’s a very connecting experience,” says Lieser.
In other words, the simple act of running his fingers through your follicles makes the experience feel more mutual—like you’re both in on the action.
This article originally appeared on Womenshealthmag.com.
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