Almost six months ago, Em Rusciano shared a heartbreaking message on Facebook revealing that she had lost a baby boy at 13 weeks. The 38-year-old has recently spoken to Be about her ongoing struggle to come to terms with her miscarriage.
“No, I’m not [feeling better], but I just put one foot in front of the other and that’s all I can do,” Em said.
“There will always be a…” she trailed off, before saying, “I mean I was supposed to give birth in 20 days.”
The radio host and comedian, who has been praised for her candour in discussing all aspects of her life, revealed that she’s themed her 2018 stand up tour around miscarriage to help other women who have experienced the loss of a child.
“So the show I’m doing next year, the tour… I’m doing stand-up comedy about miscarriage,” she told Be.
“And I think if you don’t laugh you’ll cry.”
She recently opened up on Facebook about the intense process of creating the show.
“I’m also in the middle of writing my new stand-up show,” she wrote, “Which wouldn’t be happening if I’d been able to give birth to Ray.”
“So, my darlings. I am going to workshop my grief the only way I know how to – in a leotard, on stage, covered in glitter. We’re going to go there; all of us, together, because so many of you have been through this. It’ll be dark, but if you don’t laugh you’ll cry and cry and cry… so let’s all laugh together.
“Something good must come from the pit I’ve been slowly digging myself out of. If you’ve dug before, or you’re currently digging, or you know someone with a figurative shovel – this show is for you. It’s for us. Look it’ll be full of ridiculousness and joy too, don’t even worry about that.”
My anxiety is off both its tits at the moment. I know why.. Breakfast radio, Tour going on sale (will anyone come?) Shitty faux news sites writing bullshit stories about me. Trying to achieve idiotic levels of all the things.. I was also meant to be 37 weeks pregnant this week.. This guy is getting me through, I found this photo from yesterday and I fucking love it. I'm lucky to have the rock that is SMB to tie myself to. While my edges are slightly unraveling, the important parts are anchored to him. Sorry for being a lunatic of late Scotty, I'll get there. X
On May 20, Em shared the devastating news with her 250,000 Facebook followers.
“About 10 weeks ago I got the most wondrous surprise. I found out I was pregnant,” she wrote.
“I was going to announce it this Monday as we’d hit 13 weeks, but instead I will be at home in the most exquisite pain I can possibly fathom. Yesterday I found out that my little boy, was lost to me.”
“I’d only just seen my baby the week before on the ultrasound, kicking and waving. I’d heard his heartbeat and began to imagine what type of person he’d become. What colour hair he’d have, I wondered if he’d be serious like his dad or ridiculous like his mother, or perhaps a little bit of both.
“But now, all I have is that one grainy black and white image, and the rest I will have to imagine. I’m not sure I’m built to withstand this kind of heartbreak, I’m not sure any mother is. We named him Ray, it was Scotty’s suggestion.”
The post resonated with thousands of women – many offering words of support and understanding – and we’re sure her latest words will be no different.
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