A serious injury can be a serious downer. Not to mention, it can also get in the way of your ability to function in daily life. This was the case for one Redditor’s husband, who broke his leg in a work accident. He’s finally beginning to heal from the injury… but all his sister seems to care about is the fact that he gained weight. Now, the Original Poster is fighting with her sister-in-law over a hurtful comment she made to her husband.
Writing in the infamous /AmITheAsshole Subreddit, user @Wisht1992 gave some context: She and her husband have been married for almost four years now and are both in their early 30s.
“Things have been going really well for us — or they were, until about six months ago. My husband had an accident at work that left one of his legs badly broken, and he’s been struggling ever since,” OP wrote.
She explained how her husband was on bedrest for “several weeks” as he recovered. During this time, he gained weight “because he couldn’t exercise or move around at all,” which is totally understandable.
AITA for yelling at my SIL over her treatment of my husband?
by u/Wisht1992 in AmItheAsshole
“This genuinely didn’t bother me, but I know that he found it very upsetting. His job is quite physically demanding, so he was used to eating whatever he wanted and being able to work it off with no problem,” OP added. “To make matters worse, his family are the kind of people who really look down on those who are overweight — his younger sister especially. She’s incredibly superficial.”
That’s definitely not the attitude you want when embarking on a “tough” recovery from a broken leg. But OP’s husband has persevered. After physical therapy, he is now “back on his feet, which was a huge win for him.” However, he can only move around on crutches, so his body has continued to change.
“Then his younger sister announced her engagement and said that she was aiming to get married before the end of 2023. She jokingly teased my husband that he would have to lose the weight before then, to look good for the wedding photos,” OP wrote. (Big yikes!) “Quite frankly, I wanted to bawl her out of it there and then, but my husband just brushed it off good-naturedly.”
OP’s husband is healing from his injury… but her SIL is laser-focused on his weight.
Alas, the SIL’s toxic attitude about her brother’s body came up again. OP recently noticed that her husband wasn’t eating as much as usual.
“I started to develop a suspicion that he might be skipping meals, because things weren’t adding up — I asked him about it, and he admitted that he had been skipping lunch most days,” she recalled. “Apparently his sister had actually called him up after announcing her engagement and basically ordered him to ‘trim down’ ahead of her wedding or else he’d be left out of the family photos.”
Um, ENORMOUS yikes! This man is healing from a bad injury; his physical appearance should be the very last thing on his mind.
Naturally, OP saw red. She called her SIL “almost immediately” and “gave her a piece of my mind, berating her for essentially putting him on a diet.”
“She gave as good as she got and accused me of enabling unhealthy habits in my husband,” OP recalled. “After I hung up, my husband was very upset and told me that I didn’t need to wade into his family issues like that, and that his sister was right about him needing to lose weight. To make things worse, his mother then called him and bawled him out of it for allowing me to upset his sister.”
“Am I the AH here?” she continued. “I don’t know if I should have involved myself in what was ultimately a matter between him (a grown man) and his sister.”
Needless to say, AITA Redditors had strong opinions.
There’s a lot to unpack here, so let’s get started. First and foremost: OP’s SIL isn’t concerned with her husband’s health. She’s concerned about how he looks, which is pure vanity. If she truly cared about his wellbeing, the SIL would forgo the disparaging remarks about his body and encourage him to fuel up as he recovers from an injury.
So, no, OP is definitely not the AH in that regard. In fact, most AITA Redditors believe she did the right thing by standing up for her husband even though he is a “grown man.”
“NTA,” one person wrote. “[Your in-laws] sound fun. Hitting a man when he’s down is always admirable.”
“[Your] SIL has no idea of the trials, heartaches and joys of marriage. Your husband (and you) had your life turned upside down from medical issues that [take] time to progress. Her overbearing comments on his weight and excluding him from family pics crossed the line,” one commenter wrote.
“Wow, that family dynamic does not sound healthy at all,” another Redditor opined. “I’m pretty sure skipping meals is not a good idea, and a healing body needs nutritients. Better course of action is to talk to his medical team and get advice on proper nutrition, along with the PT.”
But some commenters had more mixed views on the situation.
Many believed that OP should have spoken with her husband first before confronting his sister. Even if her heart was in the right place, OP did stir up drama on her husband’s side of the family.
“I 100% understand why you were upset by this, and I probably would’ve reacted similarly, in all honesty. But I also agree with your husband, that you shouldn’t involve yourself in his family issues if he doesn’t ask you to,” another commenter said. “I’m going to say NTA because I do think your reaction is justified.”
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