Name Rebecca Weymouth
Age 28
Occupation Media sales executive
Relationship Single
Goals To lose weight, without dieting and exercise becoming a chore – and to boost her confidence in her body
Rebecca’s story
Like many people approaching 30, Rebecca feels she has reached the age where she wants to sort out what’s important to her. ‘To help this happen, I want to stop wasting time worrying about my body image,’ she says. ‘I want to lose weight and get fit for the sake of my health.’
Rebecca was overweight as a teenager and the bullying she suffered as a result has left her with a legacy of insecurity. ‘I spent so much time rising above it I never dealt with how it made me feel. Instead I threw myself into theatre and dance – I used to be a jobbing actress – and developed this bubbly personality as an armour.’
Rebecca is currently 16st (she’s 5ft 8in) and feels constantly self-conscious and judged by others. She also has other issues surrounding weight loss. ‘I’ve lost weight in the past, but have negative associations with it because I feel it alters my personality. I think it makes me boring, because I’m dieting and having to be disciplined. Also, I have the ability to make people laugh and used it to create a big funny personality – so people wouldn’t judge me from the neck down.’
Rebecca admits that her lifestyle and low confidence don’t lend themselves well to her losing weight. ‘I comfort eat when I feel insecure, and I have a job that involves a lot of indulgent lunches. I do go to the gym, but erratically, and see few results from it. I see exercise as a chore.’ Time is also a problem, as Rebecca has a demanding career and social life.
She now feels ready to tackle her weight and low body confidence head on. ‘I’m tired of thinking about whether I look good or not – I just want to have the confidence to not even think about it when I walk into a room,’ she says. ‘I’m carrying these issues around with me like a millstone and can’t wait to get rid of them.’
Confidence coach Ros Taylor says
Rebecca is positive about everything except herself. In our first session, I discovered that on the outside she is outgoing and throws herself into things, but on the inside she’s a shrinking violet, with perceptions of herself that need challenging. She has created a big personality to hide her insecurities, and life coaching will deconstruct this protective barrier and enable her to be the person she wants to be.
To start with, she must separate her personality from her weight. She has several very close friends, so I’ve suggested that she talk to them about their perceptions of her. I think they’ll be surprised to find out that she feels this way, and I bet they never even noticed a change in her when she was slimmer. Learning what other people think of you can be enlightening – it’s almost always different to how you see yourself and can help change your perceptions.
Through cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), we will equip her to challenge and replace old thought patterns. We might create a mantra such as: ‘I feel good about myself no matter what weight I am’, and Rebecca will repeat this whenever a negative thought about herself pops into her head. Self-esteem is dependent on how you think about yourself – you can control these thoughts so they don’t control you.
First steps to boosting body confidence
· Engage people you trust in your process of change. Ask them to support you and point out if you make a negative comment about yourself.
· People often feel it’s OK to comment on how you should look, on your weight or on what you eat, but stand up for yourself. Whether it’s your mother or a colleague, gently say that you’d rather not discuss your diet or body shape. This can boost your confidence and tells them to accept you as you are.
· Try to identify the things that make you feel worse about your body, such as putting on close-fitting gym kit. Remember that your body looks exactly the same as it did a few minutes before, when you didn’t feel as bad about it. Body confidence is a mindset.
Personal trainer Simon Speake says
The first thing I’ve asked Rebecca to do is cut down on her alcohol intake. She drinks at least five days a week, so I’ve told her to have three consecutive nights off. A glass of wine at lunch and a few beers at night can stack up the calories (at least 400) and make you less likely to want to work out the next day.
Rebecca’s workouts lacked structure. Like many people, she exercised in her comfort zone and did the same thing every time – this results in little fitness gain and boredom. She believed that she couldn’t run, but I showed her she can – quite fast, actually! I’ve given her a structured programme and shown her good technique, which means that she needs to go only two or three times a week, because the time will really count. Each session will be 60 minutes and a mixture of conditioning work such as squats, lunges and weights to tone her up, then cardio work such as running to increase her fitness. She loves dancing, so a dance class would be a great replacement for one of her gym sessions. A healthy weight for her to aim for would be about 11st 7lb.
First steps to kick-starting weight loss
· Cardio work is great, but don’t neglect resistance work: turning just 1lb of your bodyweight into muscle means you’ll burn about 50 extra calories a day.
· Get stretching (for stretches, go to webmd.com) – it increases the weight you can lift. A short warm-up will get the blood flowing to your muscles.
· Change your exercise mindset from negative (‘I have to lose weight’) to positive (‘I want to gain fitness’). Focusing on the changes in your body is more motivational than weighing yourself and feeling defeated.
Interviews: Lisa Buckingham
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