Jill Duggar Dillard has the key to marital bliss!
The 28-year-old Counting On star, who has been married to husband Derick Dillard since 2014, opened up about her sex life in a recent blog post on the Dillard Family website, in the hopes of encouraging couples not to let the “fire in your marriage” die.
Jill writes that it’s imperative to have sex often, writing, “you both need this time together regularly (3-4 times a week is a good start).”
“When you may not be able to actually have intercourse for a period of time or for health issues, find other ways to have fun and be intimate,” Jill explains.
She adds, “Guard against fulfilling sexual desires alone. Be open with your spouse about your desires and change things up to keep it exciting!”
Jill also suggests getting “new lingerie (online is an easy way to buy!) as a surprise gift for birthdays, holidays, vacations or whenever.”
The Counting On star even advises couples to seek help “if you’re struggling with sex with your spouse.”
“See a doctor and/or licensed counselor and don’t be afraid to get second opinions,” she adds.
Jill explains her reason for speaking out on the matter is because she got “so tired of people saying when we were just getting to know each other, and then as newlyweds too, was stuff like, ‘Oh you just wait’… or… ‘You’re just in that newlywed phase.'”
However, the TLC star does admit that a fading intimacy is common, writing, “I do realize that sometimes things may change slightly due to life changes (e.g. kids, work schedules, etc.), one thing I think we need to recognize is that the fire in your marriage doesn’t have to die out! But like a fire, sometimes, and more so during some seasons than others, you need to be intentional, proactive and work hard to keep the fire going.”
“I don’t claim to know everything about marriage, or to be presenting some solve-all advice, and I’m only really speaking to wives here, but I hope you find some of these tips to be encouraging,” Jill admits.
In addition to her bedroom tips, Jill encourages couples to be “open about everything: past, present and future.”
Jill writes, “You need to be able to trust each other with the easy and the hard! Secrets are seeds for destruction.”
She also says to “pray and fast for your husband,” encourage him and speak up when “they hurt you… or else the problem will just linger and you may suffer unnecessarily and resentment might build up.”
Jill also suggests that wives should “look nice” for their husband, be open about “money and spending habits,” “let him know you miss him,” “call him by a fun or sweet name” and give him an excited greeting when he comes home after work.
“Run to him,” Jill writes. “If the kids are gone, have fun with it! Be crazy with your hubby! If your kids are there, get them excited about daddy coming home and make sure distractions are put away for a bit, so everyone greets him at the door!”
Jill and Derick, 30, share two children — sons Isreal David, 4, and Samuel Scott, 1.
Practicing what she preaches, Jill raved over Derick earlier this month after he completed his first year of law school.
In honor of his achievement, Jill threw her husband a pizza party.
In addition to sharing photos of the pizza she made using a recipe she features on her website, the mother of two wrote on Instagram, “Whoop whoop! This guy just finished his first year of law school today!! Pizza party to celebrate. ”
This article originally appeared on People.com.
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