Some people find it easy to build relationships and to deepen, while others make you queasy feel, as soon as it comes to a little more liability.
How is it that people think so differently? And you can change if you have detected any problems?
The American psychologist Amir Levine, myself, was just to leave surprisingly, as he began to deal with the binding theory of British psychologist John Bowlby.
And, he noted: There are only three types of binding in the security of all the people einkategorisieren.
1. Secure-Autonomous binding type
People of this type of Relationship can give love and accept, because they trust the Other and also convey self-confidence.
You love and miss your Partner when he is there, and will be happy if you get back together. Also, if you are happy to be part of a couple, don’t you just give but self-reliance.
The world outside of the relationship still plays a role and there is no morbid fixation on the Partner.
2. Insecure-avoidant binding type
To the outside people of this type of Relationship don’t seem to need your Partner or miss, but on the inside it looks different.
You have adjusted to rejection, even if, for example, the absence of a partner has nothing to do with a lack of attention to, but, in practice, is justified. For these people it is not easy to trust others – even their own Partner.
Image gallery: 20 sign that your relationship is at the end of
To avoid pain and disappointment, you give be distant. At the same time idealize your Partner or desired partner, and can detect contradictions in their behavior difficult.
3. Insecure-ambivalent binding type
These people feel a close bond, do not bring you, but harmoniously.
Your desire for transparency and control is highly surprising behaviour by the partner leads to Anger and Aggression.
While it seems on the one hand, heartbroken, seeks at the same time, the closeness and confirmation of the other. They tell the story of their relationship, it appears mired often in a negative light, and emotional.
From your own relation types to learn
According to Levine, the awareness of which relationship category you belong to help to understand the separations and to accept, not always because the partnership works out, if it is too different.
Together with his colleague Rachel Heller he began to explore this topic in more detail and to explain in books such as ‘Why are we always in the Wrong to fall in love: relationship types and their importance for our partnership.
To hear the message of hope: he Who has once realised the self, what type he or attracted to, the to work – either that they are no longer people chase, the escape, again and again, or learn to finally drop and to trust.
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*The contribution “Of klettig to distant: What relationship type are you?” is published by FitForFun. Contact with the executives here.