When it comes to sex, sometimes it feels like certain hotspots (hello, genitals!) get all the attention. There’s obviously nothing wrong with that—but if you’re only hitting one button, you’re missing out on some seriously sexy feels.
“The whole body has erogenous potential,” says Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and sexologist, and director of The Intimacy Institute in Colorado. Woah, baby.
Okay, but what is an erogenous zones exactly? Put simply, it’s “any area on the body that has the potential to create erotic and sexual arousal when touched,” explains Skyler. The truth is, these zones can be found head to toe—and the hottest spots tend to vary from person to person. “In my opinion,” she says. “I think you need to excite all the other erogenous zones before you even move to the genitals.”
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Your lips are super-sensitive, which explains why a good liplock can feel so incredible, says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., author of Sex for Grown-Ups. Amp up the sensation by alternating between soft, sensual kisses and a deep passionate makeout. Chances are your partner will follow your lead.
Your mouth isn’t the only part of your face full of erotic potential. “The cheeks are actually really sensitive,” says Skyler. “If you have your partner close their eyes as you softly caress their cheek, that can be really arousing.” Especially mid-hookup, gentle kisses on the forehead, eyelids, and cheeks, “can activate deep feelings of being cared for,” explains Stephen Snyder, M.D., a sex therapist in New York and author of Love Worth Making. And that intimacy can be a major turn-on.
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“Depending on a woman’s comfort, the belly can be really sexy,” says Skyler. Like your forehead and cheeks, it’s a place of vulnerability, adds Snyder. “Something about that vulnerability seems to connect with arousal for people,” he says.
“The neck is underutilized,” says Skyler. “It’s a super-sexy spot.” Whether you’re into gentle caresses, or rough biting, to make the most of this erogenous zone, “the slower the better,” she says.
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“Anywhere you are sensitive you have the potential for an erogenous zone,” says Skyler, which is why a lot of women find the wrists and skin behind their kneecaps to be an underrated erogenous zone. Use these traditionally ticklish spots during foreplay to help arouse your entire bod.
While it might sound weird, being into a little ear pleasure is super- common, says Snyder. Turns out, there’s a good physiological explanation for why a little nibble during foreplay is so sexy. Your earlobes contain a lot of blood flow, Snyder explains, making the fleshy spot highly sensitive.
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The same teasing technique can turn the inner thighs into a maddeningly good erogenous zone. “A lot of women like being teased there,” says Skyler. With kisses or caresses, have your partner move slowly toward your vulva before backing away and repeating the process.
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“People either love feet or hate feet,” Skyler says. “Some people think it’s really sexy and a turn-on to have their toes sucked.” If you’re into it, go for it, but remember the point is to get aroused and enjoy it—not make you or your partner uncomfortable. “It’s about finding your own path,” Skyler says.
Your back may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of erogenous zones, but it can be a surprisingly powerful place to touch, says Skyler. “For there to be space for arousal for a woman, she has to be relaxed,” she explains. Your back—especially your upper back—tends to be a place that stores stress, so a sensual back massage can not only relax you, but also help turn you on. “Having a deep-tissue relaxing massage in that area, though not erogenous in nature, opens up the space for arousal,” Skyler explains. To keep heating things up, move the massage further south. “The space where the low back and the butt meet is very sensitive,” Skyler says.
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Women typically have sensitive nipples, but the type of sensation you prefer—from soft caresses to gentle nibbling—totally varies, says Brame. Make sure your partner uses the right pressure by speaking up when it feels great or if it’s a little too rough.
Once your partner has worked their way down to your torso, don’t let your nipples hog all the attention—the chest has other erogenous zones to offer. Specifically, Snyder says many women enjoy being touched between their breasts, right in the center of their chest. Have your partner tease this spot like they might tease you below the belt—lingering on the area surrounding your breasts before ever touching your nipples.
It’s not all about the clit and the g-spot—the vulva itself (a.k.a. the outside part of your vagina) is one big erogenous hot spot. To make the most of this spot, Snyder says it’s all about lingering and teasing—have your partner use their tongue, penis, finger, or a sex toy, “like a paint brush,” he says, “circling the area and brushing back and forth until they just can’t help going inside.”
If you’re not already paying attention to the aforementioned clit: get on that. It’s definitely the most sensitive target on your body, says Brame. Have your partner start with feather-light touches and gradually work up to a soft grinding sensation. For even more clitoral stimulation during sex, try some couple-friendly toys, like Dame Products’ Eva.
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