Say it with us now: “Penis, penis, penis. Vagina, vagina, vagina.” For far too many people, saying the phallic anatomy aloud comes much easier than the yonic. In these parts we love making sure our vulva/vagina owning friends and those that love them feel empowered to talk about their bodies and all their parts — so it’s important that we set the standard to say what we mean when we talk about these parts. And, again, we mean vaginas (which are not a dirty word!)
Our society is totally cool with throwing around slang terms for vagina — whether affectionately, with an attempt at avoiding vulgarity or with the express purpose of being vulgar — that are infinitely creepier and way more offensive than the medical term. Too often we teach our kids cutesy terminology that only works to reinforce the vagina as some unknowable, inappropriate thing as opposed to what is, at best, an awesome piece of anatomy that evolves and changes with its owner or, at worst, a neutral body part.
Need proof? We rounded a host of the different words for the female anatomy we could think of — from the tame to the say-whaaat? to the just plain juvenile. It appears that there’s apparently nothing we won’t do to avoid saying vagina, if these words are the ones we’re choosing to run with.
Make it down this list and we’re pretty sure you’ll agree with us that vagina is preferable to this evasive nonsense.
1. Vag
2. Vajayjay
3. Box
4. Nether regions
5. Lady business
6. Lady V
7. Hoo-haw
8. Cha-cha
9. Lady bits
10. Crotch
11. Muff
12. Kitty
13. Cooch
14. Cooter
15. Snatch
16. Snapper
17. Beaver
18. Cookie
19. Cupcake
20. Coin purse
21. Lady flower
22. Honey pot
23. Poon
24. Punani
25. Twat
26. Gash
27. Banana basket
28. Flower pot
29. Fine china
30. Juice box
31. Pink panther
32. Hot pocket
33. Bikini bizkit
34. Penis fly trap
35. Vertical smile
36. Dew flaps
37. Flaming lips
38. Puff pillow
39. Notorious V.A.G.
40. Furburger
41. Bearded clam
42. Sausage wallet
43. Panty hamster
44. Meat curtains
45. Penis garage
46 Pink taco
47. Axe wound
48. Penis snuggie
49. P****
50. C*** (unless you have one and fully understand what it means to say it — just, don’t).
A version of this story was published October 2017.
Mind your vagina Ph with some vulva-friendly wipes we love:
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