So you’ve identified you’re a people-pleaser – here are the signs that you’re actually improving.
We here at Stylist HQ are all about self-care and breaking away from people-pleasing habits.
Whether it’s learning how to say no, identifying the signs you’re a people-pleaser (or even dating a people-pleaser) and why it’s better to not be “too nice”, it’s safe to say that learning to take care of one’s self is key – and if you’re reading this, you’ve probably identified that you or someone you know is indeed a people-pleaser.
And while we can always share how to identify your people-pleasing ways, it’s also important to acknowledge the strides we make to shake these habits – and it’s not always easy to do when you’re in the midst of making changes to who you are.
Luckily, therapist Abby Rawlinson has done just that.
The integrative therapist has taken to Instagram to share the signs you’re breaking away from your people-pleasing habits.
Rawlinson says the first sign you’re ditching your people-pleasing ways is by vocally disagreeing with someone’s opinion. Next up is cancelling plans with someone because you need the rest.
Further signs include making a decision without running it past everyone – a key sign of improvement – and maintaining your boundaries “even when the other person is disappointed”.
Expressing a preference instead of saying “I don’t mind” was another point highlighted by Rawlinson, while adding that speaking up when something doesn’t work for your schedule is a significant change in behaviour for people-pleasers.
Lastly, Rawlinson suggests that telling someone their comment hurt your feelings instead of keeping it bottled up is an important sign that a people-pleaser has grown.
Many people who identified as current or reformed people-pleasers took to the comments to share their thoughts on the post.
“Great post. I’m a reformed people-pleaser since 2021,” commented one. “It’s scary at first but feels bold and courageous now. The paradox is, my life’s better for quitting people-pleasing.”
Another wrote: “I still sometimes catch myself saying ‘I don’t mind’. This is a great reminder that while I still have a way to go, I’ve made progress and it’s improved my life for the better. I feel free to be me unapologetically and that is a radical feeling that I’m excited to feel even more as I continue to work on myself.”
Image: Getty
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