There’s no denying we all feel lonely at times. But if it’s something that happens to everyone, why don’t we talk about loneliness more often? Influencer Mia Violet recently took to Instagram to ask her followers that very question and let them know having a social following doesn’t make her immune to feeling alone.
“Something I rarely admit is that I often struggle with a sense of loneliness. This may seem strange to those who know me, with how chatty and upbeat I usually am,” Violet wrote in a recent post. As a trans woman with a body-positive social media presence, she’s often recognized by some of her thousands of followers while at events or even on the street, she said.
Violet went on to explain that she’s grateful for those interactions. Yet being recognized and looked up to doesn’t equal the happiness that comes with a deeper connection. “It’s always touching and lovely to connect with someone new, and I consider myself very lucky. But being popular and recognizable doesn’t cure loneliness, not long-term anyway,” she wrote.
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Something I rarely admit is that I often struggle with a sense of loneliness. This may seem strange to those who know me, with how chatty and upbeat I usually am. When I attend queer events or geeky conventions, I’m usually spotted by Twitter followers and rarely lack for someone to talk to. I’ve been recognised while at work and even in the street. It’s always touching and lovely to connect with someone new, and I consider myself very lucky. But being popular and recognisable doesn’t cure loneliness, not longterm anyway. Nothing can substitute having dependable and regular contact with familiar faces, the people you love, those who share your age, ethos, and interests. People you’ve created memories with. Being a closeted queer kid, I never had a solid band of friends growing up. Since coming out I’ve found friendships easy to form, and I’m lucky enough these days to have lots of people I consider great friends. But sadly we’re all scattered around the country, and even the world. It can be isolating to realise that if I want to hang out with any of them on short notice, or chat face-to-face, we can’t do that. ~🌸~ So why talk about this? Because despite loneliness being a serious health risk, and levels of loneliness being reportedly very high, it’s a topic that’s rarely discussed openly. It’s taboo, especially on social media. I’m talking about it here to break that silence, to let anyone who shares this feeling know that I’m with you. It’s okay to talk about this, we don’t have to hide these feelings. Loneliness is complicated, the solution is always going to be personal and rarely as simple as just being around other people. But by accepting that these feelings are there, and exploring where they come from, it’s a step towards finding a lasting and happy solution. Photo by Alia Rose – @aliarose.photography ~~💜~~ #selfacceptance #selfacceptanceiskey #selfloveisthebestlove #selfworth #SelfLoveMatters #selfloverevolution #queerpride #queerwomen #transvisibility #mentalhealth #loneliness #lonely #girlslikeus #trans #transisbeautiful #transpride #transgirlsofinstagram #transgendergirl #LGBTQ #queerfashion #queeracceptance
There’s simply no substitute for spending time with loved ones who know you inside and out, she explained. “The people you love, those who share your age, ethos, and interests. People you’ve created memories with.”
Life can be tough on people who grow up questioning their gender, and Violet said that being closeted made it difficult for her to make friends at a young age. After she came out, forming friendships became a lot easier, she explained. Regardless, those loved ones are often scattered across the country or even the world, she added, which makes it hard to always feel connected to them.
Violet is speaking up because despite being a serious health risk, loneliness is a taboo topic. That’s especially true on social media, where it’s easy to get caught up in how perfect and happy other people’s lives seem to be. If you ever feel alone, Violet wants you to know she’s right there with you.
“Loneliness is complicated, the solution is always going to be personal and rarely as simple as just being around other people,” she wrote. “But by accepting that these feelings are there, and exploring where they come from, it’s a step towards finding a lasting and happy solution.”
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